Feeling like there is no hope is one of the most challenging emotions to manage. After all, why would someone even try when he believes there is no hope, and correspondingly, no possibility for things to improve?

Finding hope when it seems like there’s none to be found can be tricky, but it is possible.

It’s important to remember that no matter how hopeless things appear, there’s always the opportunity for things to get better. Even if it doesn’t seem like it at the time, things can change.

All of us have challenges at times, and we all have moments where there doesn’t appear to be a way out. Yet everyone who doesn’t give up seems to come out of his or her struggles okay.

When you’re feeling down, try these strategies to help bring back hope:

1.   Consider all the miraculous things you’ve done in your life.

• You’ve probably learned how to walk, talk, and maybe even how to drive. Perhaps you’ve graduated from high school or college.
• Let’s think for a minute about learning how to talk. It doesn’t seem very miraculous; nearly everyone learns to do it. But consider how difficult it really is.?
• Babies start out making unintelligible sounds. In a couple of years they can say a few things, though not very well. In a few more years, they can say a fair amount – though still struggle with pronunciation. This is all after years of daily effort.?
• So regardless of what you’re facing, remember your earlier miracles and know you’re entirely capable of working through it. For humans, the seemingly impossible is, in fact, possible.

2.   Absorb optimism.

• Surely you’ve come across people who persistently see the bright side of things. They’re the ones that could stand in the middle of the worst thunderstorm the world has ever seen and say, “I think it’s starting to clear up.”
• Seek out these people and spend time with them. Their optimism will soon start to rub off on you. Talk to them about your challenges; they may have a perspective that can really give you a push in the right direction.?

3.   Think of activities that might inspire you. Use every tool at your disposal.?

• Faith could be a source of inspiration.?
• Simple joys, like watching children play on the playground, might bring you the spark you seek.?
• Try reading books that chronicle the triumphs of others.

4.   Spend time with those less fortunate.

• Volunteering to help the homeless or hospice patients can show you that things aren’t quite as challenging as you originally thought.
• Sometimes when you observe firsthand how difficult things can be, you develop a different perspective about your own situation.

5.   Also, spend some time with miraculous things.

• For many, nature’s bounty is awe-inspiring, from flowers and waterfalls to butterflies and spider webs. When you see what’s possible, you realize that you’re capable of remarkable things too.

6.    Be courageous.

• Often, cultivating hope requires courage to take that first step forward. Give yourself the chance to find your way through your challenges.?

If you want to find hope in your life, you always can! Although your search for hope might take some work, never give up. Just keep working through it and you’ll discover that you have plenty of reasons to be hopeful.

Another very good option is to seek the help of a trained professional. Regardless of your challenges, there are always ways through them.

The way to achieving quality rest time is through a balanced schedule. I have the necessary clarity of mind to discern which responsibilities I should take on and which ones need to wait.

I am mature enough to differentiate between that which I am called to do and that which I simply desire to do. I understand that just because I can do something does not mean I should do it.

To maintain a balanced life, I must sometimes put aside some minor responsibilities and fun activities. The benefits of living a balanced life are worth the sacrifices of letting go of some things I love to do. On my plate, I place only those things I need to carry through this season of my life.

I find within myself the courage to candidly confront myself with the reality of my intentions. I release myself from any task I perform solely to appease another person. Instead, I prioritize my values and fill my schedule with those things first.

My body gets sufficient rest because I make room in my schedule for myself. At night, I drift off to sleep as peacefully as a newborn baby in a mother’s arms.

Today, I choose to go to bed early enough to provide myself with seven or eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Taking care of my body enables me to have more strength to fulfill my calling.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. Do I make time in my schedule for rest?
2. How do I need to adjust my plans to give myself adequate time for sleep?
3. Am I happy with the amount of rest I get?

Understanding Why You Procrastinate

1.      Spot perfectionism.

Procrastination and perfectionism often go hand in hand. You may be setting your standards so high that they intimidate you from doing your best. Determine if you’re avoiding important tasks because you’re anxious about how well you’ll perform.

2.      Make up your mind.

You might procrastinate because you find it challenging to make decisions. You keep developing more options and telling yourself that you’re doing background research rather than buckling down to more concrete work.

3.     Analyze your feelings about the last minute rush.

Maybe you’ve become conditioned to the euphoria you feel when working under pressure. You may need to find more productive ways to motivate and reward yourself.

Changing Your Thinking

1.      Examine the consequences of immediate gratification.

Impulse control often lies at the heart of chronic procrastination. Try asking yourself which activities will contribute more to your well being over the long term. You may enjoy watching several episodes of your favorite TV show back to back when it’s more profitable to spend that time studying.

2.      Drop the dread.

Worrying about a project can often be more unpleasant than just doing it. Try adopting a neutral state of mind when you start listing all the reasons why you put off a project, like doing your taxes. You may be pleasantly surprised at how effectively you can reduce the stress you place on yourself.

3.      Hold yourself accountable.

Take charge of your life by acknowledging your own abilities and making a commitment to give your best efforts to the things you care about. For example, get started today on your resolution to exercise daily rather than waiting until some hypothetical time when you’ll feel more energetic.

Developing New Habits

1.      Schedule your time realistically.

Take an inventory of how you currently use your time. Calculate how long it really takes you to complete your typical errands compared to the overly optimistic scenarios that keep putting you behind schedule.

2.      Minimize distractions.

If checking emails and surfing the web are eating up your time, put those distractions out of reach temporarily. See how much more you can accomplish when you focus only on the task at hand.

3.      Manage interruptions.

Some interruptions are inevitable. Remain flexible so you can get back to work quickly rather than letting a five minute phone call turn into a wasted afternoon.

4.      Break tasks down into manageable chunks.

Set intermediate deadlines for yourself. If your final proposal is due in a month, allot time for each section, editing, and proofreading.

5.      Practice with small endeavors.

You can turn almost anything into an opportunity to reinforce your new habits. Wipe down the kitchen counters immediately instead of saving up all of your cleaning for the weekend.

6.      Reward your progress.

You might procrastinate because it allows you to spend time on things you enjoy more than the things you’re trying to avoid. When you do your grocery shopping before work rather than sleeping for another hour, pay yourself back by serving up your favorite dish for dinner.

7.      Expect setbacks.

You’re likely to experience some backsliding. Look for the temptations that pull you off course and develop strategies to overcome them. If you feel lethargic after dinner, schedule your toughest work early in the morning when you’re more alert.

Overcoming a tendency to procrastinate will help you accomplish more and feel better about yourself. By devoting your energies to meaningful activities rather than trying to avoid them, you’ll enjoy more peace of mind and a richer life.

Procrastination

You can have the lean, flat stomach you’ve always wanted! Make these nutrition, exercise, and posture tips part of your daily life and you’ll blast away your belly fat.

One of the most important thing you need is discipline.  Although the methods below are very simple, they still require your determination in achieving your goal.  When there is a will, there is a way.

Eating for a Flat Stomach:

1. Maintain a healthy body weight. If you’re already above your ideal weight, you’ll need to burn more calories than you consume to lose those excess pounds. It’s great to tone your stomach muscles, but they’ll remain hidden until you shed any fat that covers them.
2. Get plenty of fiber. A diet high in fiber will help prevent bloating. Whole wheat and other grains also help you feel fuller faster, and most vegetables are low in calories.
   
3. Cut down on sodium. Many people eat twice as much sodium as health experts recommend. Too much salt can lead to high blood pressure as well as bloating. The biggest culprit is processed food, so read those nutrition labels and prepare your own dishes from fresh ingredients. Drinking plenty of water also helps to lower your sodium levels.
   
4. Eat smaller meals. If lavish dinners make your belly bulge, try switching to smaller and more frequent meals. Eat 5 to 6 times a day every 3-4 hours. You’ll be less likely to get hungry and overindulge.
   
5. See your doctor. If you’re losing weight but failing to see any change in your waistline, talk with your doctor. There are tests that can detect if you have food allergies. You may need to avoid certain foods or take enzyme drops or tablets for lactose intolerance.

Exercising for a Tighter Tummy:

1. Understand the myth of spot reduction. Your body gains weight all over and loses it the same way. Forget about the miracle gadgets advertised on television that promise instant results. Save your money and devote your energy to more sensible eating and regular exercise.
2. Do aerobics daily. Aerobic exercise is the best way to burn more calories. Take a daily walk or run. Go swimming or skating. Aim for about 30 minutes of activity a day. Supplement that with lifestyle changes like using the stairs instead of the elevator.
3. Strengthen your upper body muscles. Building strong muscles in your shoulders, chest, and back will improve your posture and keep your abdomen from sticking out. Do some weight training or Pilates a few times each week.
4. Tone your stomach muscles. Spot exercises are effective in combination with aerobics and strength training. Crunches and leg lifts tighten and tone your stomach muscles.
5. Have fun. Make your exercise routine enjoyable so you’ll want to stick with it. Design a variety of activities. Reward yourself when you make progress towards a slimmer waistline.

Improving Your Posture:

1. Tuck your tummy in. Imagine that you’re pressing your navel back against your spine. Even if it feels a little awkward at first, it will quickly become a habit with regular practice. The results are fast. Your abdomen will look flatter. You’ll breathe more deeply and feel more energetic. Even your clothes will look better.
   
2. Pull your shoulders back. Letting your shoulders drop back and relax helps to raise your chest up. This way, all of your core muscles support your weight instead of making just your abdomen carry the load.
   
3. Keep your body in alignment. Whether sitting or standing, try to position your ears, shoulders and hips in one vertical line. Balance your weight evenly over the balls and heels of your feet while walking or standing. Switch positions occasionally when sitting or standing for a long time.

A flat stomach can work wonders on your health and appearance. Eat right, exercise, and stand up straight. You’ll love your new look.

Fitness experts suggest limiting the calories you consume daily in order to maintain a healthy weight. That’s why it makes sense to burn as many calories as possible throughout your day. If you can’t consistently make it to the gym, check out these easy ways to burn calories. Get your physician’s okay to exercise before beginning any fitness program or dietary changes.

1.      Stand up.

If you have a job where you sit a lot or find yourself spending considerable time on the sofa, stand on your feet periodically throughout the day.

At work, there may be tasks you can do while standing.  Sorting documents, looking through files, reading reports, and making handwritten notes can all be done from a standing position. Some workplaces even offer standing desks at which you can do computer work.

Here’s an interesting tip to try at home: if you use a laptop computer and you have a raised counter/bar area, consider placing your laptop on the high counter and doing work while you stand.

Even if you’re only on your feet for 15 minutes at a time, the calories you burn will increase while you’re standing.

2.      Walk around.

Something as simple as walking around rather than sitting burns calories. Think creatively to fit in more walking throughout your day.

For example, let’s say you work from your home office and sit at the computer all day. However, you occasionally receive phone calls on your cell phone or cordless home phone. Make it a point to walk around the house during phone calls.

Think about this: if you receive four phone calls during the day, each lasting 15 minutes, and you walk while talking, by the end of your work day you’ll have walked for an hour.   Although you’re not speed walking, you’re on your feet and moving, burning calories during your busy workday.

3.      Take the stairs.

If you live or work in a building with stairs, consider taking the stairs to burn calories.

4.      Park farther from the door.

If you take your car to work or to run errands, park far away from your destination, even if that just means the far end of the parking lot.

You can add several extra minutes of walking time simply by using this method everywhere you go. Don’t underestimate the value of a 5-minute walk from your vehicle to the grocery store or your workplace and back. Those 5-minute walks add up to more calories burned.

5.      Get a pedometer.

For some extra motivation to keep you moving, consider getting a good pedometer, which is a device that counts your steps.

If getting instant feedback motivates you, wearing a pedometer will drive you to burn more calories.  Fitness experts now recommend walking at least 10,000 steps per day. Use your pedometer as a reminder to get up and move around more.

6.      Use exercise DVDs at home.

Seek fitness DVDs you enjoy; otherwise you may not feel motivated to use them.

If you can’t squeeze in time to go to the gym, selecting an exercise DVD may be your perfect strategy to burn more calories. Many of them can be done in half an hour or less, or offer abridged versions of longer workouts.

Check out the exercise DVDs at your local library. Normally free of charge to use for a few days or a week, different library DVDs will help you decide which types of exercise DVDs you prefer. Once you determine your preferences, you might want to purchase your own DVDs to burn calories on a regular basis.

Alternately, keep cycling through the ones available from the library. This will keep your routine from getting stale.

Caring for your body is crucial to living fully. Let the simple strategies above work for you. After all, only you have the power to take steps to improve your most cherished “possessions:” your body and health.

I avoid surrendering my dreams. Even if I feel sad or afraid, I know that those emotions are only temporary. I can do anything I put my mind to. Belief in myself helps me to move forward in life.

By showing others that they can be self-assured and brave, I learn a great deal. When I help others, I help myself. My confidence grows when I see others succeed after I have helped them. Their success becomes my success.

Each day I look for ways to grow and develop. I find ways to gain more self-confidence. By keeping a positive attitude, I am better able to see my aspirations and hopes realized. I move closer to the dreams I have in my heart. I avoid giving up. I realize I can do anything if it is truly important to me.

As I build my own self-confidence, I am able to do more of what I want to do. My life changes in positive ways because I see it as a work in progress. The more I increase my self-esteem, the more joy and peace I bring to those around me.

Today, I strengthen my self-confidence and also help others find theirs.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. What can I do to feel more confident?
2. How can I help others to have more confidence?
3. How can I use my own self-esteem to improve the lives of others?

If you feel that you and your partner aren’t communicating as well as you could be, take heart. All it takes is learning and practicing a few simple skills to get your relationship back on track.

Below are some points that I have noted and thought I will share with you these thoughts that I have to help you sharpen your communication skills with your partner.  I will use the terms partner and spouse interchangeably.

1.    Practice listening. Couples learn interesting and helpful information about each other when they practice remaining quiet, yet attentive.

• Focus on what your partner is saying.
• Show you’re listening through body language and eye contact.
• Don’t worry about saying what’s on your mind, at least not initially.

2.    Take turns talking.

Remember when you were a child and you played games with your friends? You waited until they were finished before taking your turn. Avoid interrupting your spouse.

• Remain interested in what your partner is saying.
• Trust in the knowledge that your “turn” will come around soon.

3.    Determine what your spouse is seeking from the verbal exchange.

When a spouse approaches the other to talk, there’s typically a goal. Below are common goals in marital communication.

• He’s asking you to do something, like stop at the store, for example.
• She’s seeking information. Your spouse poses a question. She wants a response.
• Your spouse might simply want to tell you how they feel about something (emotions) or what they think (an opinion).

4.    Be respectful when you respond.

Because you’re sharing your lives together, having and showing respect through your words and responses is integral to your everyday lives.

5.   Observe your spouse’s mood and tone.

If you believe your partner is upset, annoyed, irritated or angry, tell them you’re aware of it.

• Say something like: “It looks to me like you’re mad about something” or “You sound upset.” Making such observations demonstrates that you’re paying attention, which is important to healthy relationships.
• At this juncture, you may not need to ask why your partner is annoyed. They’re likely to see you’re tuned in and have noticed their feelings, so they’ll speak more openly about their feelings or frustrations.

6.    Strive to be as supportive of your spouse as possible, regardless of their intentions in the exchange.

If your spouse asks you to do something, make every effort to complete the task. If they’re seeking information you have, share it. After all, you’re in this relationship together.

• If they’re making a simple request, honor it if you can.
• If you have a good reason to decline, share why. Offer to perform the favor at a time that’s more convenient for you. They’ll see that you’re making every effort to meet them halfway.

7.     If your spouse simply seeks to share an opinion, respond openly and with interest.

If they’ve raised the subject, they’re most likely interested in hearing what you think, also.

• When your partner is finished, comment on what they said. Examples are, “I never thought of that” or “I haven’t heard about this until now.”
• If your opinion conflicts with his opinion, you have a couple of options. Simply state, “I feel differently about that” and wait to see if he wants to know how you feel. Your other option is to share your opinion in non-threatening words and tone.
• It’s best to avoid showing a great deal of intensity in your voice tone, volume, and word choice if you disagree. Lively discussions tend to turn into arguments when intensity is high.

8.    Assume responsibility for ending the communication exchange positively. Here are some examples:

• “I’m glad I could help out” or “Happy to help.”
• If you’re the one asking for something, respond with “Thanks” or “I really appreciate that.”

9.     Seek professional help when needed.

Consider calling professionals for guidance if applying the above techniques doesn’t improve your communication.

Each day with your spouse you’re given innumerable opportunities to demonstrate love, caring and respect. Sometimes, from the smallest and seemingly most insignificant exchanges, come the greatest demonstrations of shared interests, passion and love. Learning to communicate effectively with your spouse will greatly enhance your relationship.

Please feel free to let me know your thoughts.  Drop me a comment.

“The roots of true achievement

lie in the will

to become the best that you can become”

… Harold Taylor

For example, you’ve decided to stop eating potato chips and chocolate. You make a pledge to yourself to watch what you eat. But two hours later, you suddenly realize you’re sitting in front of the television, bag of potato chips in hand.

Now imagine the same scenario, yet this time you behave differently. You spend some time thinking about how to ensure you avoid potato chips and chocolate. You decide to take your junk food over to a friend’s house and leave it there. At dinner, you smile to yourself as you prepare to eat a salad and baked chicken because you plan to thoughtfully focus on eating healthy.

The second scenario demonstrates the concept of living a conscious life. Knowing what you want, choosing how you spend your time, and staying in touch with your feelings are indicators of a conscious life.

There are many techniques you can implement to help you purposely live the way you want to. When you live consciously, you’re no longer a victim of the wind, being blown about this way and that way by the circumstances of your life. You can create the life you desire with conscious living.

Try these ideas to get you started and inspire you on your journey:

1.     Create the life you want one step at a time.

Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Spend some time exploring what you already love about your life. Also investigate what you’d like to change.  Then, think about how you can take deliberate steps to create the life you desire.

2.     Seek balance in your life.

For example, if you disagree with someone, take time to consider the other person’s side of the argument.  Allow yourself to change your mind.

3.      Live in the present moment.

You’ve most likely heard this suggestion before. But what does it really mean to live in the moment?

Consider this example:

While you’re visiting your mother, think about her and enjoy your conversation and activities together. Avoid making your store list mentally or trying to recall what else you have to do today. Just stay in the present moment with your mother and focus on what the two of you are doing.

4.      Know yourself.

Awareness of your likes and dislikes is important to conscious living.

Learn what’s important to you. Discover what makes you tick, what drives you, and what you find inspiring.

Self-understanding is an integral part of living life consciously because if you know your preferences and motivations, you can then create circumstances that will enable you to accomplish your goals.

5.      Live your own truth.

As a teenager, you might have gravitated toward peers who didn’t judge you, which made you feel more comfortable. Perhaps, in actuality, you didn’t have all that much in common with them. As an adult, you can now stay more true to your own beliefs.

When you live your truth, you stay faithful to what’s genuinely important to you.

6.      Learn to let go of negativity and situations you can’t control.

Conserve your emotional energy for what you actually can change: yourself and your own life. Now that’s conscious living!

7.      Take action.

Become interested and involved in the goals you’ve set. Put effort into achieving those objectives and you’ll be well on the road to living consciously.

Altering how you live your life can be an ongoing challenge. Selecting just one of the above ideas and putting it into practice will help you begin your journey toward conscious living. Living life consciously will bring you the healthier, more joyful existence that you deserve.

My home is peaceful because I choose to make it that way. Each day, I focus on peace and serenity rather than allow negative emotions to take control. A happy home is worth working for. I strive to maintain a positive attitude through all situations.

Challenges are temporary concerns that come and go. I avoid allowing them to bring me down, knowing that happiness is a state of mind. I choose to be happy. Peace is a gift I give to my family and myself even as we work through challenges.

Remaining calm is easy for me. Because I feel better and can think more clearly when I am relaxed, my first priority in stressful situations is to take a deep breath to help relax my body and mind. I put the situation in perspective and work toward a positive resolution.

Through my own gentle and happy attitude, I make my home a harmonious place. The happier I am, the happier my family is also. Everyone wins when I am relaxed at home.

Today, I allow peace and harmony to reign in my home, knowing that happiness is found in how I choose to live each moment.

Self-Reflection Questions:

1. What can I do to keep happiness and peace in my home?
2. How can I convince others to stay peaceful at home?
3. Are there steps I can take to remain focused and more relaxed?